Since marrying my French husband nearly two years ago, I’ve always congratulated myself on the relationship I have with my parents in law. We get on like a house on fire, despite me being English and having rather different views on life, the economy, food, families, careers… pretty much everything really! They choose to accept me for who I am; I make their son happy and us getting on well means that we see each other regularly so everyone’s happy.
Anyway, all that changed last Autumn when my husband’s grandmother got divorced, upped sticks and moved to live in the same Provencal village as my hubby’s parents.
Its as if, overnight, a witch moved in and every time we visit his parent’s she digs her claws in a little further. For example, this woman has been divorced no less than 3 times now, has never managed to maintain a stable relationship and doesn’t have anyone that she considers as a friend. And yet, she chooses to criticize every part of my marriage, the way I treat her blessed Grandson and everything about me.
Things came to a head at Christmas when I had the flu and she told me to pretend I wasn’t ill so my hubby wouldn’t worry. I told her it was none of her business and that it was rich coming from someone in her position. Maybe I should have bitten my tongue but I dread going to see the parents-in-law as she is always there, staring at me and scotched to my husband like a pot of superglue!
I now maintain a polite relationship with her to try and avoid creating waves. Even that she has a problem with, and this weekend she stopped answering me when I ask her a question.
The family are starting to notice though as yesterday she spectacularly blanked me at the dinner table in front of everyone! Needless to say that the French dinner table is a sacred place and time for family and this type of behaviour does not go unnoticed! Hubby declared that we wouldn’t be staying on to spend the Pentecote holiday with them as we’d be leaving that afternoon. Moral support greatly appreciated!
Is it because I’m English and she believes that her Grandson should be with someone French? I don’t think so, I truly believe that she is just bitter and wants to keep her family for herself. After all, they’re all she has left.
Fingers crossed that my next encounter will go smoothly, thankfully I have the parents-in-law coming to stay next weekend. Now just have to worry about what to cook and making sure the house is clean and tidy.
My honest oppinion is that har bhaviour has nothing to do with your nationality. it is obvious she is an old hog, jealous of you ( your marriage, your age, your stable relationship with a man ). I live in the other corner of Europe in a family where we are very mixed ( my husband being of Austrian ancestry and my own family having Spanish, Romanian and French blood) so, I can say nationality has nothing to do with her acting like this.
) Hang On and Win !
But I have lived enough to see this kind of women in action, no matter what ethnicity or nationality they might have. They poison everything around, they are toxic and manipulative and they find great joy in making other women unhappy. And I think a situation like this one should be discussed openly with your husband and maybe to your in-laws, to make them understand you are hurt and insulted by her behaviour, and also to state clearly there is NO way she will interfere again like this. O la la, 3 marriages and a tired ,wasted life !
Thanks Rosabell. I’d sort of come to this conclusion but your comments have definitely confirmed this!
Now I understand better why you don’t try to reason with her.
[...] Even if she did, I do feel a bit sorry for her for the trouble she is having with The Grandmother in Law. [...]