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Posts Tagged ‘Being a Mum’

Here I am!

Since having Little Piglet last year, time has become precious and I often have the feeling that I am living with a time bomb.

Rare are the occasions when I get a minute to myself, yet alone time to do my nails, read or blog.

My days start early, usually it is Little Piglet that wakes me up when she’s had enough of sleeping and then it’s the daily grind of getting her ready, trying to get ready myself, work and then the evening routine when she returns from the Nanny.

After an important work meeting last week, my Mum asked how I dressed and what I did with my hair. After quickly explaining and stating that I do know how to dress professionally, she said that it had been a long time since she’d seen me anything other than half dressed.

It is true that most days I start getting ready and then before I have time to actually brush my hair or put on make up, Little Piglet is demanding my attention or about to eat something that she found on the floor.

Waking up earlier would be a solution but I find that hard, I’m already up any time between 6 and 7.

Dear Mr Piglet helps as much as he can but he works full time too and spends most of his days and evenings working outside of the home. He doesn’t really get any extra time to himself but men just have it easy don’t they? I mean, it’s not them that have to deal with the post partum weight loss, hairy legs or eyebrows. They are so low maintenance and don’t even get me started on how easy they are to dress!

So here I am tonight, football on TV, taking five minutes to myself to write this. No doubt in 15 minutes I’ll have collapsed on my bed, fast asleep in preparation for another grueling day tomorrow.

The best thing is, whilst my life is on hold at the moment, I wouldn’t change a thing. Happiness has taken on a whole new meaning, material things and appearances no longer count. One hug from my Little Piglet makes everything okay.

Bon nuit!

ps. Oh yeah, amongst other things, I finally got my braces off after 18 months! Finally I can talk normally again and smile without having salad stuck in my teeth :) Also, I have a Hollywood smile! Whoop whoop!

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Because of what happened to me after the birth of Baby Piglet I didn’t get chance to feel like a Mum for the first five weeks after her birth, but yesterday I really felt different and like a Mum for the first time.

Not being able to care for my baby caused a certain frustration for me and I think put some distance between Baby Piglet and I, as I was only feeding her, not actually caring for her.

Now that I am up and mobile I get to do so much more with her. I can carry her and rock her gently to sleep without yelping in pain scared to death that I’m going to drop her.

I’m finally able to interact with her, to show her the world and care for her, although I’m being careful to share her with her Daddy and Grandparents as I’m rather tempted to keep her all to myself! Although exhausted and still in some pain when I sit or stand for too long, I am the happiest person on Earth.

Yesterday was the first time I went out without her for more than a quick dash to the supermarket. I was gone longer than expected as I had my first appointment with a midwife here for my pelvic floor & abdominal re-education. The appointment lasted forever as the midwife decided it was too early to start and wants me to see a psy as well.

I knew there was some crazy in my head shell but maybe not as much as she saw. Seriously speaking, she thinks I’m traumatized about what happened especially as I keep having nightmares that the compresses were Baby Piglet’s twin and I gave birth a second time.

I have realized that I have to move on for Baby Piglet’s sake, no more pulling the curtains over my eyes (or hiding behind the blinds as Mr Piglet says). I’ve been denying what has happened since we moved in to the new house, thinking I could put it behind me, using the excuse that my medical records have not arrived yet therefore stalling me from doing anything but my frequent nightmares show that the problem is lingering and needs to be addressed.

I have also started talking to Baby Piglet and have explained to her what happened and why Mummy is sad sometimes. Call me a nut but when she looks at me as if she really understands what I’m saying and I think it’s important that she knows what I’m thinking sometimes so that she doesn’t think I have anything against her.

It’s not just me now but me and Baby Piglet and my first real Mummy decision is to address this head on so I can put it behind us once and for all.

On a lighter note, Baby Piglet and the Grandparent went on a walk and met some of the locals the other day. They were extremely friendly and even came closer so that we could take a good picture:

A friendly neighbour

Fancy some Pastis?

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