Stream of Consciousness Sunday

MummyinProvence’s Stream of Consciousness Sunday post last Sunday captured my imagination and inspired me to have a go. The aim is to write freestyle during 5 minutes and then publish without any editing.

Here’s what I wrote in my five mins:

I feel different now to how I used to. Different things matter and don’t matter. No words can describe how I truly feel but the days of me being care free and selfish have gone.

My husband says I have changed, I guess I have. I’ve become a Mum. I’m constantly on red alert, worried that something is wrong. I analyze every gesture, grimace, smile and expression that crosses my adorable babies face, wondering what it could mean.

Every movement or activity we do together could mean something to her, so I select things carefully and then feel guilty when I inadvertently leave The Simpsons on and see that she is watching them.

I feel guilty when I have a drink too many in the evening and feel hungover and extremely tired. Extremely tired because I’ve been up all night fretting that something’s wrong, again analyzing every sound I can hear over the baby monitor and repeating my mathematical calculations to re-assure myself when the alcohol would have left my blood stream and it would be safe to feed her. Of course, I’d already worked all of this out before drinking the wine but I have become irrational and being a Mum consumes every moment of my life.

Why don’t you have a go? Just follow these simple rules:
1. Set a timer and write for 5 mins (I didn’t include this part or the intro in my five minutes
2. write as it comes, don’t edit or spellcheck
3. Publish your post somewhere, anywhere you want
4. Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post
5. Link your post to all.things.fadra

If you do decide to have a go please leave the link to your post in the comments section below, I would love to have a read.