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Posts Tagged ‘Fashion’

I am a horder. A serial horder. I keep pretty much everything, to me everything has a place in my home, a story and a reason to be here. Even if it is a t-shirt which still has all of it’s tags and has never been worn outside of the shop changing room.

Clothes and accessories are my main problem areas, but as our poor relatives who got roped in to helping us pack and unpack when we moved witnessed, my hoarding doesn’t stop there. Plates, apertif dishes, cutlery, books, pots and pans, dust pan and brushes… you name it, I’ve got it.

Mr Piglet despairs at my hoarding. We spent a fortune in storage when we moved just because I have so much stuff. And recently it has become just that to me, stuff.

You may ask why I have waited until now, why not get rid of it sooner? After all, in the last 10 years I have had two international moves and another move which made me homeless for 3 months whilst pregnant.

Having Baby Piglet has helped me gain a lot of perspective and suddenly I’m not so desperate to hang on to all of these material belongings. Okay, I’m not suddenly going to give away by Dior bags or Jimmy Choo shoes, but I have come to terms with the fact that even if I did manage to shrink myself back down to a size 10, my tastes have changed and I would quite frankly prefer to start again.

Don’t get me wrong, I have some lovely clothes which I would wear again in a shot if I could, but I also feel that if I lose the weight I deserve the reward of getting to go shopping for new stuff. Right? Not to mention that right now I would like to open my wardrobe and see stuff that I can wear, not stuff that is all too small that it makes me depressed.

So yesterday I started clearing out my wardrobe. Emptying boxes and bags and sorting through everything. I took many pictures and started listing everything on Ebay. There was no pity. I want this stuff gone. And so starts my Ebay Wardrobe Challenge. By the end of the Spring, I hope to have cleared my wardrobe, lost some weight and started shopping for replacement clothes.

Now I just have to decide whether to part with my shoe and handbag collections, forever faithful no matter what my size.

Please help me by spreading the word. If you can share the link to my Ebay page here or my Facebook page here or my twitter feed here I would be really grateful. Doing a car boot sale isn’t practical with a baby and a Husband that works weekends, so Ebay is my best hope of completing my challenge. Unless of course you can think of any other ways (other than an open house)?

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Photo Credit: Petra Röder, Photo Express

I’ve been feeling a bit depressed about my weight recently and have been completely unable to shift the excess kilos. Any efforts at dieting have been short-lived and resulted in adding to my surplus rather than reducing it. My ludicrous attempts to loose 10 kilos in 10 weeks (see this post) were quickly thwarted by life, and I actually managed to put on 5 kilos along the way!

I have tried to take some steps to loosing weight in the recent weeks. I used to be a dancer. It doesn’t seem like an eternity ago but it must have been, as after a 40 minute drive across town to a dance studio I’d found on the internet I was bitterly disappointed.

As I walked in I realized the receptionist and all the dancers loitering around were about 18 and made me look ancient. They all looked like extras from Pineapple Dance Studios, and I looked just like Louis – the old one (if you don’t know about Pineapple then have a look at some of these videos, they’re a scream!Pineapple Dance Studios on YouTube).

The receptionist showing me around asked how many years ago it had been since I had danced. Note: Not just how long ago, but how many years ago… She kindly advised that their lessons were not really for beginners (she obviously didn’t believe that I had once danced professionally, albeit on ice!) and invited me to attend an open day if I wanted to try… it was a nice let down but I’m a very busy lady and 40 minutes drive across town is just too far and too much time in the car to reflect on the fact that I can no longer move as I once did.

MC Hammer Pants

Things came to a head on my holiday in Portugal when I was forced to wear MC Hammer style pants under dresses, as my dresses had turned themselves into tunics and had become indecent to wear in public. The MCH pants were actually supposed to have been tracksuit bottoms (but are actually harem pants or so I’m told) which I was expecting to wear elegantly with high heels. Not so.

Determined to look better, get fit and loose weight without being so strict that I set myself up for failure as I did last time. So, last Monday I set myself a target of loosing 4 kilos in 4 weeks before my next trip. To celebrate the setting of a realistic target, Hubby and I order Pizza Domino one final time and then weighed ourselves the next morning, hopefully being at our heaviest.

Not just content to do a gentle diet, I decided to embark on a keep fit routine as well and this, my dear readers, in where things started to unravel at an alarming rate.

Tuesday night: 30 minutes on the cross trainer followed by floor exercises and weights. At some point the blood circulation in my feet was cut off (my feet are too fat for my trainers?) and I lost all sensation in my toes! Manically rubbed my feet after and eventually all feeling came back. Great! This might just work, or so I thought.

Wednesday night: Time to add some diversity to my routine. If you’ve bought a packet of Fitness cereal recently (yes, this is how serious I am, even my breakfast cereal is called Fitness!) you would’ve received a free Les Mills DVD; Either Body Balance or Body Pump. I’d managed to eat my way through two boxes so had both DVD’s. I’d heard great things about these DVD’s so aching all over from the day before (don’t laugh, because I couldn’t so much my abdominal muscles hurt), I motivated myself to get stuck in and popped the Body Balance on in the machine.

Piglet’s Comedy Club

Setting: Living room, yoga mat on floor, television playing fitness DVD, a mixture of Yoga and Pilates.

Character: Piglet, dressed in holey tracksuit, bare feet (trainers too tight) and looking motivated. Spare tyre round middle held in place by too tight t-shirt.

Scene 1: Lady on DVD starts demonstrating the routine, Piglet to follow. Downward Dog. Grunt. Lady effortlessly slides from position to position, throwing in a plank from time to time. Piglet scrabbles around on all fours, bum in air, back on all fours in order to stand up, whoops, she’s toppled over. Another grunt. Ridiculous laughter. She tries to do the Plank but fails miserably and then splat on her face. Scene repeats.

Scene 2: 15 minutes later.
Frightfully fit ladies on DVD still doing graceful pilates moves. Piglet still flailing around in all directions. Time to lie on front on the floor. Extend arm and opposite leg, bend both and grab foot from behind. Piglet’s body will not move, hand grapples frantically trying to find foot. Ladies on DVD carry out said move with elegance, Piglet falls over without having held foot.

End Credits: Ladies on DVD are honed, toned and fighting fit. Piglet cannot get back up. Stays on floor. Crys. Is old. Spare tyre still there.

Yep, that’s right; I must have done something wrong as I wasn’t able to walk for three days after! Imagine the old ladies you sometimes see at the Dr’s surgery or at the market. The one’s wearing the contention tights and super sensible orthopedic shoes because they’ve had a hip replacement job? Well I was walking just like them. I couldn’t stand up, sit down or even turnaround without being in dreadful pain so I had to add to the hole in the French social security budget.

Miracously my hip is better now, but the Dr wants me to get an x-ray to check it out as he thinks there could be some joint damage. He’s also banned me from any sporty activity for the time being. Is this what ageing is about? And what about loosing weight?

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Its been a long time since I’ve worn a pair of tracksuit bottoms at any time other than when I’ve been working out. When I heard that they were “in-trend” this season my thoughts wandered back to when shell suits were all the rage, surely this can’t be fashionable?

According to the fashionistas and all the forward thinking fashion followers, tracksuit bottoms worn with heels are going to be everywhere this year.

In an article about tracksuit bottoms, The Times has stated that the trend is likely to catch on as any trend that is “lazy” is always a hit. They’re thinking Uggs, leggings, skinny jeans – all easy to follow and ideal for the lazy fashion follower. Not to mention the high street can easily copy this look as opposed to fancy tailored looks.

The likes of Vicky Pollard from Little Britain have been wearing them for years, but bewared, that is not how they are to be worn!! Trainers are a definite no-no and your old Adidas pants just won’t do!Vicky Pollard in Little Britain - a definite NON!

So, if you get the right pair of pants and wear them with the right heels and a nice top what’s to loose?

Sure, there’s nothing hard about wearing a pair of tracksuit bottoms but will it really catch on in France? I’ve noticed that the French are generally a couple of seasons behind in fashion trends. For example, in 2006 I came to France in leggings and mini skirt, topped off with patent escarpins – perfectly normal for the UK, I didn’t consider it a far flung looks – the shoes were a bit awkward to walk miles in but you know, it was just what everyone was wearing. In France, the Parisians just looked at me as if I’d arrived from another planet not to mention my sister in law who’s just a bit younger than me. Fast forward to 2008 and the shops are full of similar clothes! See, I could have been a fashion consultant for them!!!

I’m going to start hunting for the perfect pair of pants now as lazy seems good to me and suits where I am in my life – rapidly approaching 30 and beginning to feel frumpy, yet can’t be too bothered to do anything about it. I’ll probably have to go back to the UK or order them online as I doubt I’ll be able to find any in France as yet, but I wonder what my friendly Frenchies will think of this? No doubt they will all think I’m mad and wonder what on earth I’m wearing, or maybe they’ll remember some of the other trends they saw me in first? Either way, they all think I’m an eccentric English girl so what’s to loose? Its something fashionable I can wear without breaking the bank and can be flattering for my extra kilos. And should I need to run somewhere I can just ditch the heels and go!

How to wear tracksuite bottoms fashionably!

How to wear tracksuite bottoms fashionably!

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