So, I’m back from Corsica and will share my adventures with you soon although I’m lucky to be back no thanks to GPS TomTom!!
I often wonder how many marital disputes, family fall outs and accidents are caused by GPS’s giving wrong directions. All the men I know never listen to directions and will certainly never stop and ask for them and yet if I force the TomTom on them they’ll quite happily listen to the soothing voice of Jane (or whoever, I heard you can have the Simpson’s voices if you wish) and then follow her instructions without applying any degree of logic or direction.
When affronted with a rubble road (think The Flintstones here) the Man (or in my case Hubby) becomes enraged and the angry swear words and obscene gestures are directed at TomTom and thankfully not at you. However, this means that the atmosphere in the car becomes heated, with much huffing and puffing, more angry gestures and then silence.
Sometimes the misdirection’s from TomTom won’t matter and laughter will break the silence such as the time we drove through a field on the outskirts of Lyon only to be met by an intrigued farmer coming along on his tractor in the other direction. But it can also be the difference between catching or missing your flight. Going home or being stuck where you are, having to fork out hundreds of Euros (if not thousands in peak season?) to wait until the next available flight which may not be for another week.
This was our case. We left Calvi at 11 am knowing that we needed to be at the airport in Bastia for 3 pm allowing us time to return the hire car and affront the huge queues typical of the last Saturday in July. I wanted to stop by Saint Florent on the way back and according to TomTom it only added 40 minutes to the trip, so in total we would be looking at an overall driving time of 2 hours 20 minutes. Perfect. Plenty of time to get there, to allow for traffic and even enough time to stop somewhere along the way and enjoy some more Corsican food and wine.
All was going hunky dory until we left Saint Florent (this was probably due to the excellent sign posts though) and started along the windy, mountainous roads towards Bastia. These were not dissimilar to those we took to arrive in Saint Florent after leaving the main road, but after a while the pot holes were becoming bigger and bigger, until suddenly there was no road left and we were on a rubble track. Continuing along, convinced we were on a great short cut and were avoiding all the traffic jams, we passed a small hamlet and smiled smugly to ourselves as confused locals looked on in amazement at us bumping along the track in a filthy, dust covered so no longer bright blue, Peugeot 206 hire car.
A short while later we were confronted with this:
Yes – that is the road. With the sign in the middle (and the big rock blocking all access behind). There was no way we could (or wanted) to continue further down this road. So rather bashfully we made our way back down the track, back past the villagers (who must be used to this sight and probably have their act of astonishment down to perfection) and then past a Parisian registered Mercedes hurtling in the direction we had originally come from – with a TomTom firmly affixed to his windscreen!
Eventually, an hour later than we had wished for and with just 20 minutes to spare before check-in closed, we made it to the airport and managed to catch our plane home! Phew!
Phew! I was getting nervous there. Glad you made your flight! Sometimes there is something to be said for good old paper maps – or asking someone who knows. (Yes, I’m such a Luddite).
Hope you had a great trip otherwise! 🙂
TomTom has been cause of much dispute in the past, if we’d missed the flight then I’m sure there would have been a HUGE fight!
Think I’ll have to buy a European map…
Great trip thanks, now have lots and lots of catching up to do 😦
Hmmm – Men never ask for directions and never turn round!
Perhaps Tom Tom is not to help us to navigate, but we are just characters in a game. Somebody “up there” is watching us, directing us and ahving fun at our expense!
After my last experience of Tom Tom I am NEVER going to leave home with out a map of Europe ;))
Defo agree that we’re characters in a game!
Get a load of this: http://nodamnblog.wordpress.com/2010/08/01/lady-up-in-the-sky/ someone else thinking there’s someone up there!!
Give me a good ol’ paper map any day!
Like the day our GPS wanted us to go the wrong way down a one-way street.
Or how about the time when we were looking for a gas station near Gare du Nord that was supposedly 200 m ahead and on our right. Sorry, gas station is now a parking lot. Thanks GPS!
So, did you run out of petrol then? That could be another fight starter!!!
My GPS has taken me down many a street the wrong way, I am so naive that it took me a long time to grasp – you see I got my license in France so I don’t look at the road signs LOL!
Hope you’re well and the wedding preparations are progressing, will be over at yours soon to catch up!
Thankfully no, we had enough gas to get us to another station.
Oh, I understand about the French drivers here. Signs? What signs? It ranks up there with “oh, pedestrians are allowed to cross the street? I thought they were speed bumps waiting to happen!”
Yes, things are going well re: the wedding. 51 days now! I’m totally excited. I did have a crazy wedding dream last night though. Let’s just say it’s not the vision I have for the day.
so just 50 days today! tick tock! and this time next week you’ll be in your new place… can’t wait to read all about it 🙂
Good job you did have enough petrol otherwise it could have caused a pre-marital dispute!
Signs what signs? Pedestrians, what pedestrians?
Now I know why I depend on maps and not on GPS.
Glad you got back!
Me too! It would have been a very expensive disaster if we hadn’t even if I would have loved to stay a bit longer!
Our previous lady in the sky gave her life in order to save my husband’s. So violent was the dispute between us as to whether or not to follow her advice, that I was flooded with a murderous rage. It was him or her. One of them had to die. So I flung her box with all my might and main, until she fell out of it and we never found her.
Now we have a new lady in the sky, and older and wiser, the husband listens to her, and me, in that order. It’s safe that way.
My point exactly! When the things don’t work properly they are the source of immense bouts of rage, in your case murderous. Better her than your husband!
I am pleased the new lady is behaving better. Maybe she can have a chat with Jane?
GAH! Don’t get me started on the subject of GPS devices! I simply don’t trust them and would prefer to plan out my route on a map, scribble it onto the back of an envelope and glance at it from time to time when en route. The OH, on the other hand, treats the GPS in much the same manner as your husband. It MUST be obeyed and God help me if I dare to suggest that it could be wrong and that THIS is a better/faster/shorter way! On recent trips, I have insisted on checking the route proposed by said GPS against a proper paper map BEFORE we even get in the car. GAH!
I see you’re another person familiar with GPS misery. Good idea about checking out the route PRIOR to leaving, think I’ll start doing that too…
Right, am off to buy a map!
GPS seems to be good in theory, but it best when used in conjunction with good old-fashioned map reading and intuition in my humble experience§
LOVE that you ran into that sign up there, lol. That pic totally cracked me up!
I have to say these events made for a *great* story, and you told it well, so there is that. I am also glad that you made the flight. Phew, indeed! All’s well that ends well.
Merewoman’s comment made me laugh, too.
Glad you are back, Piglet. Hope that the rest of the vacation was more relaxing and less eventful than this part!
I wasn’t feeling particularly cheerful when we came across that sign, Hubby wouldn’t stop for a photo so I had to take that as fast as I could whilst he was reversing up to turn around 😦
LOL, glad you liked the story. I wasn’t in the mood for working and had too many emails to deal with, so I though what the hell, I’ll write about the GPS!
Rest of holiday was fabultastic thanks, I’m writing a piece with lots of piccies now but don’t think I’ll get it finished til next week now (I have spent far too much time on the internet this week and not enough time working so now have to catch up 😦 )
Bon weekend!
I loved the pic….it reminded me of how visitors who rely on GPS to find us have ended up…one in a field of melons with no visible habitation in sight, one in a supermarket car park, one – more b…minded than the others – who followed a dirt track until it stopped at the river in front of stepping stones….
We are in France’s Bermuda Triangle and I send maps to all new visitors to avoid the worst of the panic ‘phone calls running like
‘Hi…we’re lost!’
Suppressing urge to say …yes, otherwise you wouldn’t be ringing me…. I try
‘Where are you?’
‘
‘Well, I don’t know…the last sign was toutes directions and Chinon’
‘So which one did you take?’
‘
‘All of them’.
Is it the men that decide to continue driving until they reach these weird and wonderful destinations??
I bet you could write a GPS mishap book all on your own just with your guests 🙂 Imagine what they get up too whilst they’re staying!
I think men have faith in any female voice other than that of their wives.
LOL!
The fact that TomTom considers that a road doesn’t surprise me at all. We’ve completely stopped relying on ours, I only bring it along on road trips now to amuse myself, my husband completely ignores it.
I got totally lost this weekend in the car on my own in a place where all the roads looked the same and there were no sign posts. I tried TomTom and she didn’t know where we were either.
I think I will revert to using TomTom for amusement (and also speed cameras maybe?) like you!